The last few days have been such a blessing. I can honestly say I have never felt as much joy in my soul as I have yesterday and today; especially yesterday morning. I've been praying so hard lately that God would show me joy again. His abiding joy. A joy that transcends circumstance. Thursday had been a very ugly day. Not for any particular reason, just many small things piled up until I thought I would burst; the sun wasn't out, Vera cried when my dad picked her up before I went to work, I worked 10 hours, I missed Nolan all day and before he went to work, we had a row... ect, ect. I got down on my knees that night and poured my heart out to God. The next morning dawned bright and sunny. Nolan and I had a wonderful morning together before I had to get Vera up and out the door. On my way to work I put on some praise and worship music from the radio and the sun was just above the horizon and glinting off the crystalline snow-covered fields. Breathtaking. I could hear God say "This sunrise is just for you, beloved. Joy cometh in the morning." I knew my prayers had been heard. That gift of a sunrise on Friday morning was so overwhelming. I made it to my dad's house and took Vera inside. She didn't cry once and was off and playing before I even got out the door. I got back into my car and the song Starry Night came on the radio.
When they lyrics:
I''m giving my life to the only One who makes the moon reflect the sun
On that starry night, He changed my life. I'm giving it all to the only Son who gave me hope when I had none. So let the praises ring, Ohhhh Let the Praises Ring
I burst into tears. I knew that the God that made the sun and the moon loves me. I cried out, thanking Him for the supernatural hope, peace and joy that could only come from Christ. He sent the sun to rise in the wintery sky just for me that morning. I know some people won't understand this. But I can't imagine going through this without God. So daily, I am giving my life over to God. I'm giving back the control, because I can't make the sun rise, nor can I have joy without Jesus.
Finish the day I worked, but the time seemed short. And after work I went grocery shopping, picked up Vera from my dads and went home. When I got home there was a box from ProFlowers with my name on it. Nolan had ordered flowers for me; a dozen red roses and chocolates with a note that read "Darling, I love you. -Nolan". It was the icing on a cake filled day. God has been so faithful,... so real.
Starry Night - Chris August