On Sunday morning another beautiful mother brought her baby into this world. This woman is strong and courageous. She is determined to give her son all that life has to offer. And she is doing an amazing job. She is has also been so gracious and patient with me, always offering to let me hold him and taking my opinionated ideals with ease. Yesterday I even had the honer of being there for his first bath. Everything I saw and did reminded me of Asher but it also helped heal my heart. Each momma who has let me hold their new babies has given a gift that I can never repay them for. First I held Kate 3 days after Asher was gone. Kate reminded me that life still goes on at a time when I thought mine had ended. Henry was next, he was so tiny in my arms and so new but so full of life. I was able to hold him while he was awake and playing and smiling. And then Oliver. I got to change his diaper. I will never know the satisfaction of filling Asher's belly and laughing (or groaning) as he poops it right out a little while later. Thank you for letting me change his diaper. Emma came next. So tiny. So quiet. Reminding me of the still moments shared with a newborn.. few and far between they seem some days. Then Sarah came along. I held her while she slept. There is nothing on earth like a newborn sleeping on your chest; her soft breaths and tiny chirps. And then the amazing hungry-cry came. How I miss the hungry-cry. And then 5 days ago Carter arrived. We laughed and smiled over each face and sound he made. Joy, Carter taught me about joy.
Each mother has lent their child to me for a short time, time enough to ease the hurt and to allow me to experience a tiny bit of what life would have been like. Thank you. Thank you my friends. And believe it or not (ha!) there are still 3 more to go before the summer is over. I truly believe that God has ordained a time and a place for everything. And He has in each of your lives ordained children to be born into your families for such a time as this. For you, and perhaps a tiny bit for me. These babies will show you more joy than you have ever known. And yet also.... God knew that I would need women who have walked this road before me. Those strong women who have come along beside me and prayed and pushed and pulled and encouraged and strengthened me.
And so... to those ladies in my life who have shared and are sharing my journey, Thank You from the bottom of my heart.